Happy Thanksgiving! Today will be full of so many things I love - my family, laughing, and food. I like to take this day, like so many others, to put together a list of some of the many things I'm grateful for in life. Mike - This year I am so very grateful for a husband who is constantly working on himself and who gives me the space, support, and encouragement to work on myself. We aren't perfect. We struggle. But we come through stronger each and every time and I will not take that for granted. His, Mine and Ours - I am so grateful for the amazing children in my life. I was given each one of them of them for a reason and each year those reasons become clearer and clearer. Andrew, George, Carli Grace and Hattie - have my heart. Growth - This year I'm so grateful for my God given ability for growth. Growth has been a big theme this year in so many aspects of my life. I feel like there has been great movement and strides in almost every single relationship in my life - my husband, children, family, Mike's family, my friends, and God. And I feel so blessed to get to work towards bettering each of these relationships. I hope this holiday finds you thankful beyond belief! All my best!
You'll have to forgive how behind I've been in blogging. I just spent a week in Cancun with my amazing family and Mike's dad and stepmom. But I'm back...and have TONS of pictures to share. Prepare yourselves.
Today my baby girl is turning two. I guess I'm supposed to say...it seems like only yesterday...but it doesn't. It feels like I've had her forever. I can't remember life without my happy Hattie. My tradition is always things to note from the year. Narrowing down to two for Hattie...near impossible. This year my girl has shown that her loving is not just snuggly...it's words and actions. Her hugs are famous and she hands them out willingly to anyone. She goes back for more again and again. She's a snuggler, a lover, and little mother. Her babies, her siblings, her parents, her friends...we all get the benefit of her sweet love. This year my happy girl has figured out how to survive as the baby of the family. And that's not always easy. She's sturdy and makes herself known. She doesn't get lost in the shuffle and knows just how to stand up for herself. She's a force all on her one...and you combine her and her big sister. Well look out world. Hattie, my sweet girl, I love you more than you will ever know until you are a momma yourself. Kisses, hugs and all my love. Happy birthday happy girl!
Today is the 10th of November...2013. That's 12 years you've missed now. I wonder what 21 years is going to feel like? Twenty-one being the number of years I got with you here. We are more than half way there. Last year was really bad. Really, really bad. But this year has been different. People have always asked me if it gets easier...no. Vince has asked me if it's normal to miss you more now that he has Monroe...yes. But here's something I've never been asked and am just now learning...it's easier when life is easier. I don't miss you as badly when my life is not in chaos. When I don't "need" you...I just want you...that's easier. Normally all your kids and grandkids are in one place on this day. I messed that up this year, because I forgot. I forgot the date and made other plans and when I realized the date I could hardly breathe...does it mean I'm forgetting you? It's been 12 years since I heard your voice, smelled your smell, enjoyed your laugh, felt your rough hands on my arm, hugged you and frankly that is just too long. It's so hard to remember it all. But this year I'm trying something new. I'm trying not to be so angry about it. I'm trying to forgive and let that help me through the next year...the next 12 years. So watch me...I'm going to let this get easier for once. Next week when all your kids and grandkids can be in one place I'm going to hug each of them as tightly as you would. I'm going to tickle each little foot and ribs...maybe even a little too hard...like you would. And I'm going to enjoy each wonderful thing that you aren't here for and not think about you missing it because I believe you are watching. I feel you watching and that is enough this year. All my love always.